I’m usually highly selective of the type of women that I let into my life. And make no mistake, I have nothing against women nor do I hate women. I just don’t believe in men having strictly platonic friendships with women unless the guy is married with children and even then, it’s no real guarantee that things will remain platonic indefinitely. Men want the pussy and they will do whatever it takes to get it, whether they are single, have a girlfriend, or are married. They are wired that way. Hell, I’m wired that way. But only some men will have enough self-restraint and self-discipline not to seek out sex at every chance they get, which means the majority of men will seek it out under almost every circumstance. And this is not to say that women don’t do it too. They do and probably just as much as men. I’m just saying.
Now, my rule has been this when it comes to women. If a woman comes on to me “sexually,” she’s not relationship material. And by that, I mean, the first thing she does is “strut her stuff” and gets all up in your “private space” and is generally very touchy feely with you. The more experienced men probably know what I’m talking about. These are the cues that a woman just wants a good fuck and that’s it. And that’s fine, except the whole part where I don’t care about fucking a stranger. I’m just not interested. Sorry. This penis of mine is not for you “loose women” to defile and my sperm wants nothing to do with the likes of your kind. Does that sound weird coming from a guy? I mean, I am straight and I do want to have sex but sex isn’t the first thing on my mind when I talk to women. When the relationship reaches that level of intimacy where sex is an appropriate act of affection, then yes, I would want to have sex with that woman. But in the early stages of getting to know a woman? No. I’m still figuring out if our personalities are a good match and seeing what flaws she may have and seeing if I can handle them. Because the way I see it, if I can’t handle her on her bad days when we’ve only just dated each other for a short while, it stands to reason that when the relationship does become exclusive, those same flaws will only get magnified, intensified and compounded. In other words, it’ll only get worse.
And there’s no question about it that when things are going well, then all is well. Anybody can handle a person easily when they are still happy and all shot up with those love hormones in the system. I can do it and so can the woman I am dating. It’s when the person I’m dating is having a bad day or is sad or is just moody and how I respond to those negative behaviors that really determines whether the relationship will last. And that’s important to me. This must strike most women as “odd behavior” coming from a guy. I am a firm believer that there are men like me out there. We’re not in very great numbers, sure, but we are there. You just gotta give men like us a chance. And more often than not, we are those men who are generally reserved, quiet, and need a reason to talk to you. Well, at least I do. Unless I was genuinely curious about a woman, I wouldn’t go out of my way to talk to that woman. And that’s how it was with the NY gal. I was genuinely curious about some aspect of the things that she said on the Asian American activist group that we’re both a part of. And I simply wanted to know more so I private messaged her about it and that’s pretty much how we started talking. Otherwise, I don’t think talking to her would have happened.
Moving on. In Western society as it stands, it’s generally considered okay, even encouraged, for a man to have many “sexual partners” and that this is a sign of his virility, masculinity, and attraction. Why does it have to be that though? Why is having many sex partners under a man’s belt seen as a good thing? I get the whole biology aspect of it but the whole concept of spreading your seed to as many different women as possible just seems so primitive, all things considered. My issue with it is that masculinity is based on how many sexual conquests a man has had. That the higher the number of sex partner one has had in the past, the more masculine one is. With all of human achievements accomplished thus far, this is one aspect of humanity that just seems to lag very far behind. I personally think it should be about how long one has waited before having sex or how few sexual partners that men have had so that way, you’d know that the act of performing sex is a meaningful one, rather than a meaningless one. And one that is based on intimacy rather than an emotionless act of primal urges.