Why Men and Women Can’t Be “Strictly Platonic” Friends

You’ve probably heard it before. Or maybe you believe in the complete opposite. But me personally? i don’t think men and women can be platonic friends in the strictest sense without one party or the other, at some point in time during the course of the friendship, develop feelings that are more than mere friendship. It may have started out innocently enough. That’s usually how a lot of friendships start out anyway. You like heavy metal. She likes heavy metal. You like hiking. She likes hiking. And from those common interests, you two start spending time with each other. Often times, these “hang outs” are one on one. You know, for those of you who are in your 20’s and who don’t know what type of interaction this is, there’s actually a formal name for that. It’s called “dating”. Oh my gosh, are you serious? Yes. It’s called dating. When you’re with your boys (or your girlfriends, if you’re a gal), then that’s properly called “hanging out”. Any other time that you’re with a gal, one on one, it’s a date.

Having said that, I know that I’ll be getting a lot of flack from a lot of people for saying that. It’s been said by a lot of people, after all, that men and women friendships “can” be possible. Keyword to notice here is “can”. When phrased like that, sure, of course men and women “can” be friends, if the designated word “can” implies the possibility of friendship. And anything is possible. Pigs can fly is a possibility but is it probable that it will happen? No. At least, at first, it may appear that way but to say that it’ll remain that way indefinitely is a different thing altogether. And that’s an important difference to point out.

I’ve read various blogs, internet articles, and forums where men and women well past their prime and physical attractiveness are friends with each other and have a bond that rivals male-to-male (or female-to-female) friendships, and I can see how that can work and why it would work in those circumstances. But when you’re a hot stud or a beautiful woman, (or a somewhat decent-looking guy or gal who keeps themselves fit) and you try to befriend a person from the opposite sex and somehow “want” to remain friends, it’s not possible. Again, maybe at first, it would be a platonic one but over time, at least one party will want more than a platonic friendship (and sadly, usually the guy, because we are wired to want the pussy). I mean, let’s be real here. Let’s not play a game of subterfuge and pretend that this doesn’t happen. It happens. And it happens often. So women, please, if you’re between ages 18-35 (if Asian, then up to age 50, because we all know Asian women age better than all of the other ethnic groups), don’t befriend a man thinking that you two can be strictly platonic friends with him. Not gonna happen. You’re just setting yourself up to be disappointed and utterly devastated when the friendship inevitably dissolves because the man expressed romantic interest after having known you for years and you two get along so well. And now you two are just awkward after-the-fact.

The only real exception that I can see here is if both of you grew up knowing each other as children and I’m talking like grade school (kindergarten and/or pre-school) and during junior high or high school, one of you expressed romantic interest and got turned down by the other and the subsequent friendship that formed in the aftermath of that. Then, sure, yes, in such scenarios, you can deem the guy as strictly a platonic friend but he’ll still want you sexually despite no longer “openly” expressing his sexual and/or romantic desires for you.

In any other scenario? Nope. It’s not a platonic friendship.

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2 thoughts on “Why Men and Women Can’t Be “Strictly Platonic” Friends

  1. Pingback: On Friendship with Women: Some Cautionary Tales From One Chinese Man | Goo Wak Jai

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