Feminism. This movement used to be about gender equality. It used to be about giving women more rights than they had back in the 1950’s and 1960’s relative to men. It used to be about empowering the woman and encouraging them that they could “be all that they could be” by fully investing themselves into whatever it was that they wanted to do, be it their careers, their personal relationships, or hobbies. And for these things and these things alone, as a man, I am all for feminism. I do think that women should have all the rights that men have: right to vote, right to partake in traditionally male-dominated careers, right to their own bodies (namely, whether to have abortions, if pregnant, or keeping the kid), and right to an equal wage. I do. Shocking, right? However, what I am against is when they take it a step further and want special treatment in all these arenas–similar to how P.E. classes back in high school have a much lower physical requirement for females than they do for the males. For example, if the requirement for males to pass a P.E. test is 100 push ups in the standard “football-styled” push up position, the women’s equivalent is like 25 plus with the knees dropped down to the “half way” position to make push ups easier. Similarly, at the workplace, some such similar system is in place that makes it easier for women to do their work even though men can do the same work without any kind of handicap. I think women should be judged on the same level as men and if they can’t perform at the same level as men, then they should get written up and/or terminated, if it comes to that–in the interest of fairness and gender equality.
Now, let’s return to the original first wave feminism. This movement was all about equality. More or less. The second wave of feminism wanted women to have the right to their own bodies, right to an equal wage, and the right to be able to participate in traditionally male-dominated professions, which again, I have no issues with. Third wave of feminism is where things went awry–real fast at that. This 3rd generation of feminism wanted to completely obliterate traditional gender roles and to put both genders on an equal plane. This means that there is no difference between a man and a woman. They are the same, despite clear biological differences not just physically, but mentally, behaviorally, psychologically, etc, with respect to a wide variety of things. On top of that, they also wanted special privileges that are not afforded to the male gender. Things like free abortions/healthcare at pretty much any clinic, hospital, or pharmacy (which is purely funded by taxpayer’s dollars), special treatment in the workplace that ‘evens’ the playing field (like the analogy I provided above wherein the women’s requirement for the ‘same’ amount of work is actually far below the prevailing standard), and if a woman claims rape (without evidence) and/or wants to divorce (without providing any justifiable reason), the criminal justice system in America will unanimously side with the woman’s account and pay no heed to the man’s side of the story even if he has all the evidence in the world, for the first case, and even if the marriage was going well, in the second case. This is what the movement wants and I think they are doing a phenomenal job at that. I mean, just take a quick gander at the dating scene that is prevalent today. Hookups. Hookups Galore! Friends with benefits, booty calls, and fuck buddies are considered the norm now. Quite literally, hookups are the new mode of dating (if you can even call it that; the vast majority of which end up being messy breakups at some point in time–usually sooner rather than later).
Now, society and western media will have you believe that it’s thanks to technology that lead to the dawn of the hookup culture. That the “ease of communication” through text messages, IM’s (instant messaging through apps like AOL messenger, Yahoo Messenger, ICQ, Kakao, Skype, etc), and email made it such that face-to-face communication was rendered obsolete and this spurred the dawn of the hookup culture. Nay nay. I disagree. And on that note, I’m correcting myself on one of my previous entries where i spoke about how the hookup culture established itself with the dawn of social media and insinuating that it is because of social media that ultimately led to the establishment of the hookup culture. This is actually slightly incorrect. What we see here is merely a ‘symptom’ of it, a by product, or perhaps more accurately, a side effect with the rise and dominance of social media in the everyday lives of people in industrialized nations. The internet has made it faster to communicate with people across large distances and social media has made it simpler to connect with the same people without having any experience or knowing anything about the internet at all. It’s just a matter of clicking a few buttons or swiping on a cell phone. Yes, the impersonal nature of online ‘instant messaging’ or cell phone texting has made it such that the more traditional forms of communication like face-to-face communication or calling are rendered obsolete (or seldomly used) but I don’t think this is the reason why the hookup culture became mainstream. This ‘faster’ means of communication may have helped speed up the process of hookups happening at any given time but I think it’s the changing cultural norms that has led to the rise and dominance of the hookup culture. And that has to do with feminism playing a major role in its development, if it wasn’t a direct contributor that spurred the rise of the hookup culture. By changing what we used to know as the “traditional gender roles” for men and women, it has been taught now and reinforced by western media that men and women are the same, in every way, in every form, and in every respect. But interestingly enough, women are also given special treatment along with the above mantra that is taught in school and reinforced in western media. This is all thanks to the third wave of feminism. The feminism of the 90’s going onto the 2000’s. Again, I have no issues with women having the same human rights as men. I am all for it. But when women start acting and behaving just like men when it comes to personal relationships? It wreaks havoc in the social stratosphere. By that, I mean when women purposely become promiscuous by choice as opposed to men being biologically wired to be promiscuous, it creates several interesting (and damaging) conundrums for both genders in the process. Where does chivalry fit into this paradigm? It doesn’t. Doing away with gender roles means doing away with chivalry. Where does ‘dating’ wherein men are supposed to take the lead in asking the gal out on a date fit into this paradigm? It doesn’t. Again, with no gender roles, the whole idea of men being expected to do the asking and the leading in a date (because this, in itself, is a traditional gender role for a man) has become obsolete. In fact, the whole idea of expectations of men OR women to act a certain way or to do a certain thing with regards to the opposite sex because they should as a man or as a woman has been rendered obsolete. It no longer applies because men and women are the same, according to third wave feminism.
The first and second wave of feminism has done their due diligence and I do think that the changes that were made with regards to women’s rights has benefited the fairer sex immensely in just a couple of decades. But this third wave of feminism has been tipping the scale too far to the side of females. And I think women who still subscribe and believe in the traditional gender roles should start standing up to present day feminism. With the trajectory that this movement is pushing for, pretty soon, I think the whole concept of “monogamous relationships” will be rendered obsolete and along with it, marriage will be rendered obsolete as well.