So for the better part of a month and a half, I haven’t given that NY Gal, Samantha, much thought after that very last entry that talked exclusively about her. I have since moved on to talk about other subject matters that mean more to me than this one individual can possibly add to my life. Now, she actually went out of her way to search through some really, really, old threads in that Asian American activist group on Facebook that I am a part of and started liking a string of posts that I had debated on once upon a time all at once and within the same hour. And in my head, I’m thinking “what the fuck??!” I briefly go back to those threads and I’m like “Oh, it’s that thread where I debated with a guy who supposedly held a masters degree in gender studies and sociology but who failed utterly in a debate using basic logic and common sense. Admittedly, I was at work and was on my lunch break when I had checked who the hell it was that was making my phone buzz with notifications from Facebook. And it was none other than Samantha. HMMMMM. Suspicious.
Now, it had been a whole month and a half since I’ve talked with her. Why she would “all of a sudden” like a string of really, really old posts in a row within the same hour and at just the right time, during my lunch break, which she knew that I usually took my breaks during that hour. HMMMMM. Coincidence? I think not. But I was on lunch and I was in a good mood. So I humored her and messaged her to ask “Bored huh?” She “lol-ed” to that remark. So I asked her what’s new with her and she responded with a rant about the stuff that she found offensive in the group that we’re both a part of. Now, let me interject for a moment and give you a bit of background here. In this group, it’s largely male dominated. It started out as an all male Asian American group. There were no women in this group when it first started save for the one female reporter that we had back in the day who would go out of her way to find and write news articles that focused on Asian American news, which was pretty bare back then in the early 2000’s. It was virtually non-existent back then. Over the years since its inception in 2006, the group managed to attract a large number of Asian American women into the group and some of them were self-proclaimed feminists and were particularly vocal about their opinions. As you might imagine, they came in spouting this thread or that thread being sexist, misogynistic, etc, etc, and their opinions were nothing short of polarizing.They clamored, and cried, and whined, and moaned about the “inequalities” going on in the group. They kept insisting and bemoaning that the group’s leader at the time wasn’t doing a good job as a leader. So the group leader just decided to “humor them” and let them run it for a few months and in those few months, they totally crippled the group. Flame wars broke out. Multiple factions were formed. It was a very dark time for that group. Eventually, it got so bad that people were literally leaving the group in droves because the female leaders had no idea on how to manage the members except to start banning everyone that dare to “defy” them in the slightest. At some point, when the group had literally degraded to wholesale chaos, the female leaders all decided to collectively step down from their leadership positions all of the sudden and order was restored once again when the former group leader assumed control in the aftermath of their sudden AWOL. So how does all of this tie back to Samantha? Well, she’s actually one of those vocal feminists who joined and started whining about everything. Quite literally, everything. Granted, she wasn’t one of the leaders that assumed control for a brief time but she had a hand in the deterioration of the group.
So after order was restored, it once again became a largely male dominated discussion group surrounding Asian American activism, Asian American news, and a place for Asian Americans to network, create, and collaborate with each other. And a lot of the threads that are posted there are mostly threads involving Asian American men. And some of the men there are especially blunt with their opinions. This is normal, by the way. It’s the internet. Some people will inevitably share some particularly offensive remarks just because there’s no real way to control people except to ban them or tell them that they’ve broken a group’s rule eventually leading to a ban, if need be. That’s the law of the land. That’s how it has always been with online forums. The way in which this Facebook group is managed is not that different from any other online forum. Often times, these remarks are meant sarcastically but because some people are particularly sensitive, they can’t tell the difference between a joke and a genuine offensive remark on the internet (and on top of that, it’s hard to convey emotions on the internet anyway) so they default to assuming that every joke was meant as a personal jab at them even if they weren’t the subject or object of the joke. This runs in the face of common sense but alas, there’s not much that can be done about it except to remind the group members to tone down their language for these folks who get offended easily. Samantha falls under this category of super sensitive folks who get unusually offended at every little thing–amongst other self-proclaimed feminists, which also included men, by the way. So when she launched into a tirade about what some of the group’s members have remarked on a thread that she found offensive, I’m thinking to myself, “So what else is new?”
Since I was in the mood to humor her, I continued talking to her insinuating that there was a reason why she suddenly “liked” a string of my older posts from last year and that the reason was because she wanted my attention. Again, she “lol-ed” to that remark as well. And then she followed up by saying that she didn’t purposefully liked my posts to get my attention. Ok…..ay….. Here comes the mind games. She insisted that she was “researching” something for school and found my posts and decided to like them because she agreed with them. Right. Of course she was. And why even like them in the first place? Why not just grab the information needed for school and move on to do with it what you need it for? What was she hoping to get out of liking them? Well, for none other reason than to get my attention and to get a reaction out of me. And yea, she got a reaction out of me. I guess it wasn’t what she was expecting because it quickly upset her shortly after I kept asking her why she liked my posts to start with. If she wanted to talk, there are more direct means of getting into contact with me. Since I told her before that I won’t block her, she could have easily just messaged me directly and ask.
I really don’t know what she was expecting out of the conversation. Maybe she thought I would tell her that I miss her so much and that I want her back in my life? Nay, nay. I don’t stay friends with women that I have previously had a romantic interest in but was rejected. That’s just my personal rule when it comes to dating. Maybe she thought we could go back to how things were and just talk like how we used to before I had developed a romantic interest in her? Nay nay. That’s not gonna happen either and especially not on my end after-the-fact because, well, what do I stand to gain from it? Nothing but a fake emotional intimacy. Maybe for entertainment value, perhaps? Nay, nay. I can entertain myself just fine, thank you very much. There are countless of things I could be doing instead of talking to her to keep myself entertained. For female attention perhaps? I get enough female attention just by walking the streets of Downtown LA dressed in nice clothing and getting stares, winks, and “accidental” bumps and gropes from the female sex on a daily basis. So yes, needless to say, I’m covered there as well. Don’t get me wrong though. I’m no supermodel by any means but I do keep myself fit by exercising regularly, eating a low carb, high protein diet and practicing good hygiene.
Honestly though, I do think that she thought I would miss her so much that I would come groveling back to her for her attention and “affection”. Bitch, please. And she had the gall to accuse me of being jealous of her male bestie when I had joked about her male friend being her husband in disguise. She has a lot of friends who can all entertain her, if she was feeling bored. She had a number of male suitors chasing her so she gets a regular supply of male attention as well. So why bother with me? My guess is that all her friends got tired of her shenanigans or are too busy to give her attention or to entertain her so she came back to me for entertainment and attention. And she got what she asked for–entertainment and my attention. Again, I guess the type of entertainment and attention I gave her wasn’t to her liking. I guess she was expecting that I talk to her “like I used to,” all sweet, gentle, and affectionate. Bitch, please. We’re not close friends. We’re not even friends to start with. You don’t deserve any of that special treatment that I give to my real friends who do add value to my life.
I even told her a month and a half ago when she asked if we can remain friends and I said yes, but I won’t be talking to her ever again. Now, what kind of friendship do you know about wherein one party does not ever talk to the other person and still be considered friends? None, I hope. I don’t know of any friendship where it doesn’t involve some semblance of communication between both parties at some point in time and at least on some kind of regularity. Maybe 3-4 times a year. Hell, maybe just once a year–at the very least. I’m just at a loss for words. This girl is dumber than a fucking rock. And she’s 23, still living with her parents in Manhattan NY, without a college degree and not working. Just thinking about this pisses me off so I’m just going to end this entry here for tonight.