The Horse That’s Been Beaten To Death: The Nice Guy

Much has been talked about the rise and fall of the “Nice Guy,” the negative connotation that is often times associated with it nowadays, and any person can easily look up a number of articles, blogs, and forums on the pro’s and con’s of dating a nice guy. The definition of a nice guy, oddly enough, encompasses so much more than what it was originally and always was known for: A man that respects a woman by treating her as she wants to be treated.

Somehow, by some weird twilight zone phenomenon, the “nice guy” has become synonymous with the jerk/asshole/player. And I hate to keep bringing up feminism into my blog entries but a lot of why being the nice guy is frowned upon nowadays has to do with the changing gender roles (or the obliteration of gender roles to be more accurate) that this movement has pushed for. These days, there’s no incentive to be the nice guy. The nice guy, as it were, has become obsolete. A thing of the past. Hell, the PUA (Pick-Up Artist) community quite literally would shit on the nice guy any chance they get. They’ve even gone so far as invent another name for them. “Beta’s”. Isn’t that interesting?

They’re basically saying that nice guys are second class citizens in the realm of men since the word “beta” means quite literally “number 2” in the greek alphabet system. But hold on. That’s not the whole story. The PUA community, depending on how you want to look at it, are actually themselves beta’s teaching other beta’s on how to be a jerk because women respond to jerks. Real alpha’s don’t spend their time talking about how they pick up women and get laid. They just go and do it. It’s all instincts to them. They don’t write books, hold seminars, and shoot YouTube videos teaching other men on how to “work their game” to get laid. This doesn’t serve the alpha in any way. If anything, it would be more competition for them, if they actually went out of their way to teach other men. Alpha’s are not altruistic by nature. They live for their own survival and pleasure. That’s it. If other men don’t get it on the instinctual level, then that’s their problem. This is how real alpha’s actually behave.

Anyway, the PUA community spends a lot of time brainwashing otherwise nice guys to turn into a jerk. Now, in this increasingly politically correct society, they’ve undergone a number of transformations and have since reworded what they do to pick up women and get laid to sound “more nice”. It’s hilarious when I think about it. It’s like, who would go through such lengths to make it sound nice? You may have guessed it. Nice guys. And depending on which forums you go onto or which books you choose to read wherein mainly male authors explain in pseudo-scientific or para-scientific terminology “what game is,” “how the game works,” and “the various mechanics of game” which highlights the various methodologies one step at a time eventually leading to sex. It’s…I don’t know, too rigid? It’s structured too much like a videogame where you’re supposed to complete a series of quests (or in this case, a series of tests) before you get your reward. But here’s the problem: People are unpredictable. And just because you’ve completed them in the precise order doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get your reward. You may get it or you may not get it. Depends on the person.

Then there are smaller pockets of PUA communities that take a much more aggressive approach. And these communities are just as diverse in their opinions as the more larger and general PUA communities but with a more extreme stance on a lot of issues with regards to women. Now, are these more aggressive and sometimes extreme pockets of PUA communities misogynists? No. In my opinion, these are the nice guys that just have far worst luck with women than the average nice guy. (Yes, there are different levels of nice guys. Shocker!!! Or perhaps, more accurately, nice guys lie on a spectrum between too nice and just nice enough who isn’t taken as a wimp). Some nice guys may experience the typical frustrations in dating and they may get depressed or sad or insecure as a result of a bad break, love not being reciprocated, or what not but then there are some other types of nice guys that may lie on the opposite end of the spectrum where they may experience higher levels of frustrations and with greater frequency. Hence, their reactions and resulting feelings tend to be more over-the-top. And, in my opinion, I think that these are the same nice guys who have a much higher social anxiety than the average nice guy, who, perhaps, may not have had the best of role models to look up to and to mimic and learn from.

Or, they may be born with a more extreme level of autism, Asperger’s, or some such hormonal/chemical imbalance in their brain that makes it difficult for them to relate to people. In any case, unlike the average nice guy, their ability to adapt to their environment and to people’s often times inconsistent personalities is far lower. In other words, they get frustrated much more easily when things don’t work out. Nevertheless, it is my personal opinion that this is why an “Elliot Rodgers” was made and that this is the reason why he shot up that school in Santa Barbara.

Now, at the time of the school shoot up, media would have you believe that it’s because of videogames, his inherent misogyny, and the general Millenial’s entitlement attitude relative to past generations that caused him to essentially have a mental break down and shoot up that school. But I don’t think that’s the case. Society has tried to blame violence on videogames ever since Nintendo became the popular in home console to buy and play but they were largely inconclusive in drawing that correlation between playing violent video games leading to real world crimes. The second point may be possible but let’s use our critical thinking skills here a bit. Are men born to be inherently misogynistic? No. Are men made to be misogynistic? That’s a possibility. He could be a product of his environment. But then when you look at his personal background, there’s really no grounds on which he could have built up such an extreme hatred against women, you know what I mean? This guy grew up in a rich household. He had everything he could possibly want, materially speaking, and both of his parents were good parents–even if they did end up getting divorced and separating when he was young. It’s not like they neglected him in the aftermath. He still had the benefit of seeing both parents, albeit not together. And if you’ve ever taken the time to read his manifesto, he has had a pretty typical “nerd/geek” upbringing, although he didn’t actually start out that way, interestingly enough. But all throughout his manifesto, which is really his life’s history compiled within a 141 page dissertation, you can get a sense that the environment he was in was positive. In fact, too positive. It’s so overwhelming positive that at the first hint of something negative, he literally could not cope. And I mean it in the sense that he didn’t know how to cope but that was the state of the educational system at the time. The 90’s was when the whole “create a positive environment for your kids at home, in school, and outside of it” was in full swing. The older folks know this as the age of the “everybody is a winner” time period. It was also the same time period when the feminist policymakers really started making changes in what was “acceptable behavior” between boys and girls in the school environment as well. It was indeed an awkward time to be a boy. In hindsight, I feel very bad for Elliot Rodgers and all the boys who had to grow up in such an environment. I would imagine that it was very emasculating and confusing at the same time since the school environment has a grading system that basically says that there are “winners” and “losers” but because of the contradictory “everyone is a winner” subtext being touted in school, it probably gave boys the impression that not trying in anything is just as good as trying your hardest since “everyone was a winner” anyway. That’s…just a disaster waiting to happen. I don’t know how else to put it. It’s like, if you’ve been indoctrinated in school to believe that the world is fair, that if you just did as you were told and everything will work out, and that even if it didn’t, “you’re still a winner,” what incentive is there for the person to change their ways when clearly following the same course of actions will lead them to failure? There isn’t any incentive. At all. Why? Because you’re still a winner even though you’ve utterly failed at everything.

This brings us to the final point. The Millenial entitlement attitude that far surpasses any level of entitlement ever known by previous generations. In my opinion, the entitlement attitude became the norm because of the feminist policy changes to the educational system that quite literally encouraged children to be narcissistic. Think about it. “Everyone is a winner”. Everyone. Even if you’ve failed the math test over and over again and received an F in class for the school year. Yes, you’re still a winner. The last winner. Doesn’t this just smack of a lack in common sense? Not everyone can be winners. Some will be winners and a lot will be losers. But the key thing to remember here is that just because you’re a loser today doesn’t mean that you’ll remain a loser indefinitely. Tomorrow is another day. Or next week. Or next month. And one can certainly change their ways to be a winner in the future. This was the educational system before the whole “positive movement” took over, who, by the way, were inspired, encouraged, and led by feminist policymakers. The same policymakers who later dictated to schools additional changes in what’s appropriate conduct between boys and girls. Is it that surprising then why these Elliot Rodgers types just seem to be everywhere nowadays and that the entitlement attitude is ever more present than in previous generation? By extension, is it that surprising then that there appears to be more and more violence initiated by young adult males in schools these days than ever before? I, for one, am not surprised. It’s still a darn tragedy for all parties involved and, in my opinion, especially so for the Elliot Rodger types who are just a product of their environment. But nay, nay, says the feminist policymakers. They insist that because these crimes are initiated by males and that these crimes seem to be increasing, that this is all the more reason to impose stricter rules and laws in place to emasculate boys and young adult males. This is confirmation bias, by the way. And it is a vicious cycle that will just create more problems than it will solve. And we can see this just by being a participant in society.

If there was anyone to blame, it would be the feminist policymakers who took things a bit too far in leveling the playing field for the female gender. The playing field has already been leveled such that access and opportunities are freely available for women and young adult women to enter, if they so choose. Any further handicaps imposed will just prove to be detrimental to the whole system and would instead cripple the system rather than enrich it. We can already see that playing out in schools. Women out number men in the number of graduates for bachelor degrees given out.

But let us come back to the Nice Guy. If nice guy behaviors are actually actively frowned upon by women and society, what will happen to the nice guy? I personally think that one of three things will happen. The nice guy will 1) turn into an asshole, 2) commit suicide, or 3) give up on women altogether and pursue the path of least resistance which is the pleasure of the Self and that’s it. Now, all things considered, if some of the nice guys started to kill themselves off, and some turn into assholes and the rest stop pursuing women altogether, that leaves women with only assholes to date and get into relationships with. And at the face of it, this might actually sound like a shit deal from the woman’s perspective but it’s actually a blessing in disguise. If “asshole behaviors” actually get a woman horny, then that would mean that every relationship that a woman engages with a man who will undoubtedly be an asshole will always end up having mind blowing sex. And that, in itself, can’t be all bad.

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One thought on “The Horse That’s Been Beaten To Death: The Nice Guy

  1. Pingback: Why Feminism Is Here To Stay and It’s Never Going To Go Away | Goo Wak Jai

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