Eggnog VS Jolly G Boots Spiked Eggnog

Eggnog. This is not the first thing that comes to mind when I’m strolling through the liquor section in my local CVS store looking for the next cheap drink to try out. I found this odd alien concoction sitting on one of the end cap displays (*GASP* A word that I’d never thought I’d use again after the fall of Borders Bookstores) at the end of the water aisle just a few feet away from the liquor section. It was sitting there lined up perfectly at the very top shelf in columns of five just whispering in my ear, “Come hither, young Chinaman (I mean, er, gentle kind sir). Try me out. I’m every bit as tasty as the Bacardi 911 Rum sitting just below me” (because yea, when you think about eggnog, you think Bacardi). This weird concoction was yet another one of CVS’s store brand liquors that mysteriously popped up on their shelves when December was rolling around.

It was priced favorably at $6.99 a bottle. On the label below the bold red text, it reads “Eggnog with Brandy, Bourbon Whiskey, and Rum.” And just below that, it reads “12.5% ABV.” Now, I don’t know about you folks, but I stood there dumbfounded and amused at the same time. My first thought was “This can’t possibly be that great tasting.” And between trying this drink and what I was originally going to buy that day (Gran Legacy Vodka), I decided to buy this one since this seemed like a limited time thing and curiosity got the best of me. I mean, it’s eggnog, spiked with Brandy, Bourbon Whiskey, and Rum. And eggnog is known to be a pretty thick and sweet drink. All things considered, it can’t be that bad but it’s also priced well below $10 so there’s gotta be something that’s just “off” with it, you know what I mean?

So I bring it home, twisted off the plastic cap, and poured me about a shot and a half into a double shot glass to see the consistency. It’s thick but not eggnog thick. It has the consistency of your average cough syrup. I took a sip and my first thought was “Wow. This is sweet.” I’m talking like really sweet. Almost like you just took a large dollop of frosting on a cake and put it into your mouth sweet. Now, admittedly, I like sweet stuff. I have a serious sweet tooth (Is that strange for a Chinese guy?) but I would imagine that this stuff may be too sweet for the average drinker. At the most, I would restrict this to about double shots worth at a time and after a meal. Now me personally? I began sipping this on an empty stomach and kept sipping on this well beyond  what anyone else would do. I was on my eighth shot and a half before I called it quits because the eggnogg-y flavor was really starting to get to me.

The eggnog flavor pretty much overwhelmed any and all alcohol smell and/or taste that you could possibly smell or taste. And at 12.5% ABV, I was expecting at least a small bite out of it but no. Nothing of the sort happened. There wasn’t any sort of bite to this at all. It was literally like drinking a cup of pre-made eggnog. And at about my fourth shot and a half, I seriously contemplated about mixing this with some milk to dilute the eggnogg-y flavor to something more mild but I decided against it mostly because I didn’t have any cinnamon or nutmeg in the house. Traditionally, (or at least the way I was taught how to drink eggnog), you’re supposed to dilute eggnog with milk and sprinkle a dash of cinnamon and nutmeg. Stir. Then serve. Some folks may prefer to drink eggnog straight from the carton but that’s not me. It’ll be way too thick to drink, in my humble opinion. This spiked eggnog, on the other hand, was mixed at about the right consistency for eggnog. Frankly though, I prefer my eggnog to be more on the watery consistency end of the spectrum, but it wasn’t terribly uncomfortable sipping on this as is nonetheless.

On top of that, even after my eighth shot and a half, I didn’t feel a buzz. Maybe a slight tingle and a somewhat relaxed sensation but otherwise, I don’t think you can get drunk off of this. It’ll probably make a great after meal dessert but beyond that, I wouldn’t really recommend it as a daily sipper or even as a casual drink. Save this for special occasions or when you want to satisfy a sweet tooth craving. And you definitely cannot chug this as a shot. Nope. That’s not gonna happen. It’s too thick to be shot down the gullet like you would with bottom shelf tequila or vodka. You’re gonna have to mix it with some milk (or some other liquid), if you want to chug this as a shot.

It took me a good three weeks before I was able to finish this bottle. It’s finally over and done with. It felt like an ordeal trying to finish this bottle. Despite that though, I’d say that you should give this bottle a try nonetheless. It’s basically $7 for a bottle of pre-made eggnog with booze in it. Pricey for eggnog on its own but it did give me a relaxed and happy sugar high from it, which I would imagine is what this drink is meant for. If nothing else, you can play some drinking games with it to serve as punishment because it can be a pretty sickly drink to take a swig from, if you don’t have a serious sweet tooth like I do.

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