Article after article and blog after blog written by predominantly male feminists saying the same thing over and over again has got me wondering: What’s so sad about being a Men’s Right Activist? I’ve been reading a lot of articles as of late and pretty much all of them have said, in one manner or another, that a person who sympathizes with, agrees with, or identifies as a Men’s Right Activist is someone who is a part of one of the most saddest social groups that one can possibly be a part of. And I’m sitting here thinking to myself, “Why? Why is it sad to be men’s rights activist? And what is it about MRA’s that seem to put off a lot of folks, most of them being males who are feminists themselves or who are strongly in favor of feminism, in its current form?”
They practically make it out to be some sort of crackpot conspiracy group, which, I suppose, it can be but only if you consider men’s rights as an illegitimate issue and this is considering history in the grand scheme of things. History, as you may know, is practically dominated by men. Rulers, aristocrats, merchants, inventors, and religious groups with power and influence have all been unanimously males. This is true for Western history as well as Eastern history and just about anywhere else in the world. This is not to say that there haven’t been any female rulers, aristocrats, merchants, inventors, and religious groups with power and influence in their days and time periods but they make up such a small percentage (or perhaps, they were not afforded the same media attention) as compared to men. Nevertheless, based on my research, I’ve come across a lot of articles, mostly feminist one’s, written by predominantly white female feminists of the middle class variety in particular, who absolutely insist on one level or another that men have had their rights all throughout history and that this is their time (the woman’s time) to take back what is theirs all along. Fair enough. History happened the way it did. It just happened to have been unfortunate for the female sex just as much as it happened to have been unfortunate for blacks given how history played out. It was a cruel and horrible past two millenia so far as western history is concerned.
So let’s just partake in a thought experiment, for a moment. Let’s set aside all that has happened in history and assume on a clean slate the current state of things with all of its current laws and civil liberties in place, which allow women all the rights as it is at present: right to vote, right to hold office, right to partake in jobs that are traditionally male dominated, right to their own bodies, right to birth control, etc, as well as divorce laws and rape laws that favor women (where as previously, it used to favor men). Simple enough so far, right? Let’s suppose now that a man, say, your brother or your father or just someone you know that is male and that you care about deeply was accused by another woman that she was raped by him. Let us suppose again that you know your brother, or father, or male friend deeply and that he would never commit such a heinous act against this woman or women in general. Suppose further now that he has all the evidence in the world to prove that he didn’t do any such heinous act: records of phone conversations, of text messages, of online messages, Skype, video footage, and alibi’s that prove that he was not there at the time at which the supposed crime had occurred by the woman’s testimony. Nevertheless, given that the laws are the way they are at present (at least in the United States), none of that mountain of evidence matters or could be used in the court of law–because, he is the one being accused of rape and under the current revised rape laws, the woman does not have to provide evidence to the contrary to prove that a rape happened. Only that she “said it did” and that in and of itself is sufficient. If you think back for a moment here, this is pretty much what happened with the Mattress Girl and the guy she hooked up with at Columbia University. Maybe not word for word, but the basics are there. The dude had all the evidence in the world to prove otherwise but it didn’t matter. His name was dragged across media, slandered, shamed, and targeted for assault the entire time. Yet, he had no legal recourse whatsoever despite the fact that his family filed a lawsuit against the university for allowing the Mattress Girl to continue slandering him via social media websites as well as other media giants like Jezebel as the entire ordeal was still taking place. You can go to this website: Minding The Campus for a detailed summary of the entire case that went down.
But this is just one case though, you might say. It’s hardly a pervasive problem. Well, actually, it is a pervasive problem. There’s also the Bill Cosby case, the Arnold Schwarzennegger case, the War Machine case, and several other celebrities. But okay, you might continue saying. These are celebrities for crying out loud! It’s almost expected that drama like this is bound to go down precisely because of their celebrity or celebrity-like status as public figures, you say. Well, there’s actually numerous of other cases that wind up in the small columns of newspapers, be it the national one’s or the local town newspapers. They are there, if you’re paying attention to them. And they are happening with increasing frequency. You just gotta connect the dots and find the pattern. They are not just some isolated cases of a few crazy people from some corner of a hick town that no one cares about (or has heard about) where they all “just happened” to have been women who accuse men of said crimes. If it was a crime, it will be reported, even if it is just an itty-bitty paragraph on the back page of the newspaper stating the facts.
Point being, these are cases that are popping up with more regularity that clearly affect men in one form or another. And at which point does one say, “Hey, this is crossing the line.” you know what I mean? Now, I understand the arguments presented by feminists, both the prominent one’s and the garden variety one’s but are we going to let a few more thousand of men’s lives get ruined before we stop and say, “Hey, I think what we’ve been doing and continue to do might be a bad idea. Maybe men’s rights is a legitimate issue and we should actually start paying attention to it.” And if we let that happen, isn’t that like a subtle form of retribution for past wrongdoings? That is, “it’s pay back”? How is that any better than before? Isn’t the point of these social movements to even out the playing field that has previously disadvantaged ethnic minorities or otherwise disadvantaged groups in other forms (such as disabilities, growing up in poverty, etc)? At present, I think that’s basically the trajectory of things to happen in the coming years. Men’s rights will continue to be seen as a crackpot conspiracy because, you know, men have had these rights for centuries while women did not or so the rhetoric goes. It’s unfortunate but until the day when crimes against men exceed crimes against women, which, I believe is starting to ramp up and hit a pinnacle within the decade, they will continue to happen. So the best solution to this problem as a man is to avoid getting into any kind of long-term commitment with a woman and keep it to a short-term sexual fling. And for those brave enough to step onto the altar to say their marriage vows, one can only hope and pray that their wives won’t turn around and use the laws against their husbands for their own selfish gains.
It’s pretty sad that men’s rights aren’t given the same weight as women’s rights at present. All things considered though, I do think that the Men’s Rights Activists present quite a number of issues that are worth looking into and being aware of. While their more extreme factions with their otherwise more extreme ideas? Probably not so much. Nevertheless, I read about them. All of them. And I research them thoroughly. I consider all sides before I make up my mind on the matter and it’s always shifting. If someone can come up with a better argument otherwise, I stand firm with my position. I don’t know about you folks but that’s how I’m going about taking it. I’m sympathetic to a lot of social movements but their extreme factions, (yes, all of them have it), really put me off at times.